I Miss You – Paige Winn

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Author: Paige Winn

I’m the mom of teenagers. Teenage boys. And oh, how I love them, but they can be challenging…  Every now and then I let my heart go back to when they were little boys.  They would run to me, arms wide open, with huge smiles because I was the most important person to them (at least when dad wasn’t home). They would sit on my lap talking endlessly, begging me to play and spend time with them.  They were loud, constantly moving, and with me 24-7.  I remember complaining about how tired I was and how I longed for silence.  Be careful what you wish for.  So, here we are 10-15 years later and guess what, it is quiet.  Mostly.  Sometimes too quiet.  How I long for them to sit with me and spend time with me like they used to.  I wish they would talk to me, tell me what is going on with them – without me begging them to.  Now that they are almost grown, they are so independent and private and yes, quiet.  I long to be part of their world – not just that mandatory parent part, but a real part, an integral part.

I was praying to my Father recently about how much I wish they would share more with me.  I told Him how I sometimes feel they only come when they need me for money, laundry, a ride, money…  I quietly heard Him say, “Me too.”  My heart broke as I suddenly realized I often treat my Good Father like the parent of a stubborn teenager.  And I am that teen – the quiet, sulky, come-when-I-need-you teen.  The teen that at times is too busy, independent, and distracted…  Oh Father, forgive me!  Gracefully, He reminded me that He longs for me to come to Him too and just sit with Him.  To share with Him what I am thinking about and what is going on in my life.  Nothing is too little or too big.  He waits for me to ask Him for help, for advice, for wisdom and discernment.  He too longs to just be with me, in the same way I long for my boys to want to be with me.  I desire to know them, love them, encourage them, and direct them just as my Father does with me.  He loves when we come to Him.  He promises us rest.  He desires for us to trust Him and open our hands and give it all to Him.  He waits for us, just like I wait on my boys.  I wonder if He sheds a tear when I try to go on my own and don’t make time for Him and make stupid choices and mistakes.  I know as a parent, I do.  It hurts me so much to see them hurt.  You see, those teenage boys, they are MINE.  No matter what.  I love them unconditionally and with everything I am.  I could never stop loving them, fighting for them, praying for them, giving them to Him daily as I take them to the very Throne Room of God.  I know He understands this because He feels the same way about us.  He will never leave us.  He will never stop loving us.  We are His children!  We are so very loved by Him that He sent His only Son, Jesus, to die for us so we can be with Him forever.  Love without measure.  Daily sufficient grace.  He is our Good Father and we are HIS.

 

 

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Paige Winn is a stay at home mom of two almost grown boys, 20 and 17. She has an MBA and a Marketing degree from Auburn University. War Eagle! Her heart is found in volunteering for FMSC by feeding His children hungry in body and soul, serving on the Elder board at Rising Church and on the Greeting and Hospitality teams, and being in the Presence of the King. Her passion is prayer and encouraging others to seek and know our Good, Good Father.

 

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