Author: Juliann Terrell
“Are not sparrows sold for a penny? Yet not one of them will fall to the ground outside your Father’s care. And even the very hairs of your head are numbered. So don’t be afraid; You are worth more than many sparrows.” –Matthew 10:30
Author and motivational speaker, Jennie Allen, frames one of her bible studies around the word Anything. The concept is that if we pray that word and are openly surrendered to whatever that word could mean to our journey, we are giving God permission to do “anything” in our lives. She warns though that we better be prepared for all the things He could do. I began to pray this prayer regularly- I even had a bracelet that said Anything on it as a reminder.
If I am being honest, there has been some brokenness in my past that I just refused to face. I knew dealing it with it could be ugly and I wasn’t ready for ugly. But when I said anything, He knew just where to start.
I’ve always wrapped my worth in what others have thought of me, rather than God’s opinion. Because of this I entered into romantic relationships with the false idea that the other person could make me feel worthy and confident. My last relationship left me so deeply bound to the other person’s identity, that I could barely find my way out. We fell in and out of relationship with each other, thinking that we could somehow make the other whole, but it NEVER worked. The experience left me without a desire to be in other relationships, and caused me to doubt that I could ever be in a healthy one. I never wanted to be in that low place again- my worth so entangled, ensnared in someone else’s. It was easier to not be in one at all.
Then I read a verse in Matthew, that I read a thousand times before, but this time it hit me in a new way, that completely changed my perception about my worthiness:
“Are not sparrows sold for a penny? Yet not one of them will fall to the ground outside your Father’s care. And even the very hairs of your head are numbered. So don’t be afraid; You are worth more than many sparrows.” -Mt.10:30
Simultaneously to reading this, I enter the dating world again. I had a new vision for what I could bring to a relationship, and God honored my prayers about renewing my faith in finding someone who was worthy of the ME that God created. It took a long while to find someone that I even wanted to talk to, but finally there was one. He was refreshingly different. He made his intentions clear. His identity was transparently connected to Christ and his utmost priority was to pursue a woman the way God led him to. He wanted to get to know me first with no expectation except to learn more about me.
Midway through the date, I was saying something and looked over at the way he was looking at me and it clicked. I’m not sure what I was even saying, but I finally understood the way God sees me. I remember thinking- I am awesome; I am totally worthy of being known- not just thinking it but believing it! I am worth more than many sparrows. I was in awe of what God had done in me in that moment- a total perspective change. While things didn’t work out with he and I, that brief period left a lasting impression on me, and gave me a new level of confidence that I will carry into the future.
So pray, anything, and see what happens for you! It could be something far greater than you could ever imagine.